Sunday, October 30, 2011

Day 72

Restorative yoga tonight. Trying to prepare myself mentally for Wednesday. Not looking forward to my methotrexate hospital visit. Yeah, I'm over it. It's getting old really fast. This weekend I have been obsessing over when I will be finished. I have this image of a calendar that keeps popping into my head that has all the dates of all the shit I have to do before I am through with this. I just want to get through it as fast as I can. I wish I could do every treatment in a week so I would be finished. No such luck. I have another PET scan next weekend. I'm rewarding myself with a yoga workshop on Sunday for 2 hours that includes massage and lavandar eye pillows and essential oils. My fantasy is that the PET scan shows I'm already in remission and I can just walk away. Wouldn't that be nice? I can dream, right?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Day 70

F U cancer. I went to a Halloween party. So, there.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 69

My neighbor stopped by yesterday with some really cool daisies and cards and gift certificates to the Organic Garden. I wish I had been here but I had gone out for a bit. So nice.
Today I decided I was finally going to try a recipe from the Whole Living magazine I get every month. So I made acorn squash stuffed with organic quinoa with pistachios, feta, and parsley with a pork roast that was coated in garlic and rosemary and served with a white wine reduction sauce. Chef Bethany was in the house. I have to say it was damn good.
Now I'm ready to relax. The bone pain is pretty bad. Just trying to push through it and keep on moving. It's not easy to walk. Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 67

I love this. It's at the Organic Cafe in Bevely. One of my favorite restaurants. Sooo good.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Day 66

Sorry if I freaked anyone out about my bone pain. Yikes! It is minor and is a result of the nuelasta shot I had last week. It's not a bad thing, though. The aching is in the joints because that is where all the new healthy cells are being created. So no worries there.
Today was a good day. Busy with the kids all day. We did a lot of watercolor painting this morning. Then we did some errands and went to the playground. It got really cold, though, later in the day. There is a fire in the fireplace tonight.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Day 65

Back again. Thank you for all the meals that have been sent (Liza, Kim, Jamee and Caitlin)...
And I also received a very nice note from my Aunt Edna and Uncle Chet and my bro Andy. Both very much appreciated and very kind. How may times did I just use the word very?
I laid low this weekend. Pretty tired. I guess that happens sometimes, like you get a bit more tired with each treatment. I also have a little bone pain from the cells that are growing in my joints. But it's not too terrible. The shot itself hurt like a bitch, but no pain no gain. FU cancer. yeah, that's right.
We went for a walk in Salem today. It was fun. Super halloweenie. It was a really nice day. And it is indeed fall now. Ridley and Violet have colds so we spent the rest of the day resting. Hopefully I won't get it too. I have to be careful of such things.
Bath time was hilarious tonight. Violet LOOOOOVES the big tub and thinks her brother is just the funniest thing on earth. How can I be down with these two clowns around?

I missed Jasper a lot this weekend. It was really hitting me. I keep thinking I see both the cats and hear them in the house. I guess noises I thought were them before were other things. I miss my naps with Jasper and how he would sit next to me while I gave Violet her bottle before bed. Sigh.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 63

Tired. Yes, tired. Slept. Spaced out. MGH called me at 5:00. They had forgotten to give me my neulasta injection. Joy. Off to the clinic. Cancer is annoying me today. But it isn't winning.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 62

I slept in until 9:30 thanks to my parents taking care of getting the kids off to school. We went to the Depot Diner for lunch. The food was really good. Then I went to acupuncture which made me feel a lot better and well enough to walk home from the appointment. Only about a mile but not bad for the day after chemo. Rachel came over for dinner. She brought us Shepherd's Pie and it was excellent. Everyone is super full. Now I'm ready for bed. No pic today.

Day 61

OFUC was back in action today. Jen went with me for treatment. We had fun looking at magazines and surfing the net. It went by pretty fast. 9am to 2pm. I have to say I felt like I was hit with a wrecking ball after. Ok, maybe that is an exaggeration. But I was very tired. I'm wondering if it was because I have my acupuncture appt. scheduled for after instead of before this time. Also Hugo, the auricular acupuncture guy wasn't in at the clinic yesterday. All in all itg went well. Liza and Kim sent over chicken noodle soup and some bread and cookies. The soup was perfect.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 60

Violet loves the swing. Grampy pushed her until she puked. I'm not kidding. Off to bed. Need a good night of rest before tomorrow.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Day 59

Vacation is over tomorrow. Lab at 8:30am and then pre-chemo visit. Wednesday...chemo. But then I will be half way done with R-CHOP. Then 2 more methotrexate and bye bye lymphoma...forever.

Beautiful day today. Ridley is riding his bike with training wheels. Violet is crawling all over the place trying to eat anything off the floor she can find.

I don't have photoshop on this machine. Tilt your head to the left. I'll try and fix this tomorrow.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Day 58

I was in New Hampshire yesterday so I missed blogging. We drove up to Ossippee to celebrate Jackie and Juliet's Birthdays. Ridley had a great time bouncing on the trampoline and eating cake.
Today we cleaned the cars. Exciting stuff. Cheerios, raisins and goldfish, oh, my. Yeah, it was pretty gross. I made some stuffed peppers after that. They didn't come out so great. I should have stuffed more rice in them and used some egg to bind them. They tasted good though, so whatever.
Restoritive yoga after that. It was hard tonight for some reason. Maybe because I went for a long walk today already. Or maybe she was pushing us harder tonight.

Today's photo: the door of love. These are my cards. I look to them if I feel tired or sick. They have helped me immensely.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Day 56

So today I learned that there was a bake sale at work for me. They are giving me some kind of gift and using the money that they earned. I am so touched. And honored. I don't even know what to say. People have been so caring and generous. I am so thankful.

I have been on vacation from cancer. Or at least I'm calling it that. I don't have another treatment until next week on Wednesday. I had three weeks off from treatments. A much needed break. Next week OFUC is back in action. Don't worry. I will be kicking some ass.

Isabelle, Jay and Kinsey were over tonight. Isabelle cooked us another delicious meal. I am soooo full.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Day 55

Oops. Forgot to post yesterday. I have been on a bit of a cleaning and organzing rampage while I have the energy to do it. Nothing much to report. No photo today. I'm slacking. Maybe all my cleaning has to do with my cat dying. The house seems so different now that I have to make other changes too. Just a thought.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day 53

Started out the day at the neuro opthamologist. I guess they REALLY wanted to be sure that nothing was wrong with my eyes after that mtx treatment. And nothing is wrong. My dad and I grabbed a cup of coffee before the appt.

Then I had to rush home to meet the Vet. She made what could have been horrible bearable. Jasper went very peacefully in his favorite spot...the sofa. Having her come to the house was the best thing I could have done given the circumstances. He is now in kitty heaven with Pee Wee. I hope I spared him any pain.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 52

Yeah...went to the beach again. Our favorite...Wingaersheek. It was beautiful. Ridley spent a lot of time hugging Jasper today. I guess he kind of has an idea that the end is drawing near. The vet is coming here tomorrow. I hope I'm doing the right thing. It's so hard to know.

Day 51

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Day 50

So I'm sitting here looking at Jasper sitting on the kitchen chair beside me knowing that I have to have him put down in two days. This just sucks. Seriously. I can't believe I'm going through this again just two months after Pee Wee. I took him to the Feline Hospital and they were kind enough to look at what was going on free of charge. He has a mass in his intestines and he is building up fluid rapidly. So I'm trying to get Dr. Death to come to my house so I don't have to bring him in. I think it may make it a little easier on me to be at home. Sigh. Fuck. Sigh.

Anyway, I will try to cheer up looking at this cute photo of Ridley from his bath tonight. Check out that massive bubble pile.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Day 49

This is the way we wash our wig
Wash our wig
Wash our wig
This is the way we wash our wig
When it starts to get kinda funky

Yes, it's wig washing day. She is going to dry on the counter overnight. I hope I can make the thing look half decent tomorrow. I'll have to whip out the ol' flat iron.

I'm listening to Ridley laughing his ass off right now while Rob plays him clips of the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show on his iphone.

My parents and I took Violet for a long walk today while Ridley was at school. It was the longest walk I've taken in a while. Probably about 3 miles, so that was good. I should try and do it more often now that I'm feeling up to it.

I received a really sweet care package from Shoshanna yesterday. A book, cards, lotions and a MANICURE among other things. I was truly touched by her kindness. I also loved her card. She crossed out "with sympathy" and wrote "fuck you cancer" instead. that's right cancer. fuck off, will ya?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Day 48

I missed yesterday. Doh! We went to Mindi and Josh's for dinner in Quincy and by the time I got home I was spent. We had a lot of fun. I really miss hanging out with Mindi. It was great to see her again. The house they are renting is spectacular.
I sat up from 3:30 to 6am today with horrific heart burn. I watched Crazy Sexy Cancer finally, so at least I used my time wisely. How funny that she grew wheatgrass in the movie and I was just talking about that. I really would love to try and grow it. It sounds pretty easy to do.
Rachel came over for dinner tonight. I showed off my new Anna Chocola originals. Hats, that is. Rachel wanted to steal one of mine, and then I informed her that it had happened to me once already at the hospital to her surprise. Yes, someone stole the red hat from me, but I loved it so much I ordered it again. Anna was kind enough to send me a bonus turban. Super cool. Here are the hats:

My favorite is the hat with the elephant bow. They are all handmade. They're perfect because I can take a break from my wig and you can't really tell I am bald. Thanks Anna!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Day 46

I was wayyyyy too tired to post last night. Yesterday was a crazy day. It started out with the flash flood yesterday. That was insane. Crazy crazy. I had to be at Mass Eye and Ear at 9am to get my eyes checked because of my weird vision problem that occurred after the methotrexate. God, that place is a freak show. It's like the DMV of eyes. I can't believe I didn't have to take a number. Anyway, my eyes are great so no worries there. Then we had to go to MGH North to see the RN since I've had this sore throat or a couple of days and an ear ache. I guess my counts are pretty low right now, so I'm probably just reacting to that. I was given some antibiotics so hopefully that will help. Then it was off to acupuncture which was a welcome break from the day. I felt great after I left. A huge difference. I stopped at the Organic Garden on the way home and tried out their drink called the Hemoglobin. I talked to Bryn about wheatgrass at my acupuncture appt. and he is a huge advocate so I figured I'd give it a shot. No pun intended. "Amazing blood and body builder recommended in Steve Arlin’s Raw Power young coconut water ‘blood plasma’ and wheatgrass ‘hemoglobina’." It tasted absolutely disgusting. I have to say it may have been one of the worst things I've ever tasted. But hey, I choked it down and I bet it was really good for me. Then it was off to the vet with Jasper. (I told you it was a long day). He is not doing well. He hasn't eaten in a week. The vet said he has thickening of the intestines and he has a mass in his digestive tract. uhhhhhhhh. I can't deal with this right now. I just lost Pee Wee two months ago. I know he is 15, but still. They did a bunch of tests so we'll see today what is going on. Hopefully there is some medication that will get him eating again.
So there you have it. That was yesterday. No photo. I'll take one today...promise.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Day 45

oops. I think I made two day 43s. Doh!
Anyway. I feel kind of shitty today. I have a sore throat and I'm tired. Not to mention not taking the steroids anymore kind of leaves me a little, um, bitchy? I think I need to go to bed. Hopefully my sore throat will be gone tomorrow.
Violet was so cute in her bath tonight. She is such an angel.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Day 43

We went to the Galbreath's for lunch and they served us up some delicious food. Ridley and Grace had a great hang (his girlfriend...awwww) and got ready for Halloween. The adults relaxed.
Went to restorative yoga at Empower tonight. That class is so amazing. It feels different doing yoga bald. I was totally in the zone. Maybe that is what is behind all the monks shaving their heads?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Day 43

Went to a bike race today in Gloucester. The rain finally stopped and it turned out to be a good day. After the bike race we headed over to the Frazier's for their annual open house. It was good to be out and to see some friends. I still feel well today. Tired? Yes. But good.