Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 101

Here are yeterday's photos.  That is the view from the cancer center and then...well, that is the cancer center...obviously.

These are the shoes for cycle 5.  Went with comfort again.  All went well.  2 more to go.  I got my December calendar of appts. today and I looooove that it is my last calendar.  :)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Day 100

Well, back at it tomorrow.  My vacation is over.  But the good news is that in three weeks I will be finished with treatment.  :)  It's going to fly by.
I've already started Christmas shopping.  I am all about amazon this year.  So excited for Christmas this year.

I can't get my photos to post.  Have to put them up later...

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Day 98

At the beginning of restorative yoga we write down our thoughts and we are supposed to reflect on the piece of paper during the class.  This was my paper tonight:

And here are a couple of cute photos from this past weekend.  We went to the tree farm with Rob's family in CT.  Ridley wouldn't let us take any photos with him, but Violet was into it.

Nice moustache Rob.  He grew it out this month for a prostate cancer fund raiser.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

Day 89

Am typing this with my new iPad? Hell yeah I am. I was dizzy this morning so they gave me fluids at the clinic. Guess I was dehydrated. Anyway, I feel better now but I guess my white cell counts are very low right now which is probably making me feel kinda crappy. Other than that today was uneventful. I was at the clinic for 2 hours and of course I didn't have the iPad with me. I didn't expect to be there so long. It would have been the perfect thing to have with me. Oh, well. Next time, right? So FYI, The Green Foundation is doubling donations to The American Cancer Society until December 15. I figured it was a good time for me to give back. I do owe them...big.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Day 88

I spent most of yesterday in bed. Which was good, although I did feel like crap. I got some rest so I could go into Mullen today and see my peeps. I had lunch with the ladies and then they had a surprise for me. They used the money from the bake sale they had for me to buy me an ipad. :) I couldn't believe it. On top of that they gave me money for apps etc. AND, yes, there is an and, a trip to Orlando for the four of us and three nights stay there! AND spending money. It was like I won the Showcase Showdown. Thank you so much to all my Mullen friends. I work at an amazing agency. They had an album for me too that was full of notes with well wishes on them. I love it. It was really nice to see a bunch of people I work with while I was there. I've missed my pre-cancer life. Soon enough it will be back to normal.

Now to go to bed. I am done for the day. Overwhelmed.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Day 86

I took a blog break. Things are going well. The weekend was beautiful. We had a lot of fun spending time outside. Today we managed to get some good outside time too. I kept thinking it was going to rain...but it didn't. I'm feeling tired today. This seems to be the way it goes. I get tired and start to feel like I'm coming down with something the week after chemo. It will pass.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Day 78

So...78 days since I was told I had cancer. In remission. Relief, relief, relief. I knew it! I have been feeling so good since I got over my MTX treatment. I told myself this was going to be the case today. I actually imagined my doctor telling's gone. And my dream came true. It sucks that I have to finish out chemo, but I understand that it's what I have to do to be on the safe side. According to my doctor they just don't know for sure if I am good to go, so we have to be thorough and finish out treatment. It's okay though. I have to go Wednesday and then I get three weeks off! Then it's cycle 5, then 15 days later MTX hospital stay again, then 7 days later cycle 6 and THE END! December 21st.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me their positive energy and put me in their prayers, and/or bought me and my family dinner, brought me flowers, sent me a card, a text, an email, a facebook message, threw me a bake sale, donated to my wellness fund, came to my house and cooked for me, or was just there offering me the support I have needed so far. I am so grateful today.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Day 76

Mobile PET scan unit. Yeah, those are my feet. Chilled out and tried to nap while I waited for my body to become radioactive. I even got a blanket. Pretty weird. Can't wait until Monday when I hear my results. No more cancer, no more cancer, no more cancer.

Terri brought over this awesome hood/hat/scarf that she knitted me. I looove it. It's so beautiful. Can't wait to wear it. I also came home to more food. What a day. I feel pretty special. :)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day 74

I got to go home early! They discharged me at 2:30pm today. I just had to promise to take my pills and drink my water. So I get to sleep in my bed tonight. Treatment went well, no hitches. I feel just fine. PET scan Saturday and more chemo next week then I get a cancer vacation for three weeks!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Day 74

So here I sit in the penthouse at Salem Hospital with Rob. I'm waiting to start my methotrexate treatment. My favorite nurse Laura is here and she hooked me up with the best room on the floor. I have a killer view of the harbor and hard wood floors. Fancy shmacy.
Since I'm sitting here with nothing to do, I figured I would explain how I discovered I had cancer in the first place. I realized looking back that I never actually posted about that. So here is the story.
I was sitting on the couch watching TV sometime in August and I had just finished nursing Violet. My breast had this sore area on it and a lump and I thought it must be a blocked duct or a cyst or something from nursing. So I mentioned it to Rob and he said I should go get it checked out. I was all, "yeah, whatev. I'm sure it's nothing". I had also had this unexplained pain in my chest and shoulder. It was so bad I couldn't lie on either shoulder without excruciating pain in my chest. I thought I had pulled a muscle. The weird thing is it came and went a few times over the course of a few months and would last for a few days at a time. So I didn't do anything more about it for a couple of weeks when he asked, "Is that still there. Are you going to have it looked at?" I had a yearly appointment anyway with my family doctor so I figured he could check it out there. My doctor advised an ultrasound for a couple of weeks later, thinking it would probably go away before then anyway. It didn't, and I had the ultrasound. They said it looked benign, probably nursing related but the only way to know for sure was to biopsy it. I really didn't want to go through with that, I mean, who wants a needle jabbed in her boob, right? But I decided this wasn't just about me. I have two kids that depend on me and I had better suck it up and do it. And I did. Then no one called me with any results and it had been four days and I got a letter in the mail telling me I had a follow up appointment that Friday. I started getting nervous. I got on the phone and called Beverly Hospital to see why I had to come in and why they just couldn't follow up on the phone to tell me nothing was wrong. Well, that was because something was wrong. And so it began. Then there was a week where I thought I was going to die. I kept looking at my babies and I would start to cry thinking I was going to leave them and they would barely remember me. I spent some time in bed curled up crying and having anxiety attacks. Then I pulled it together and got busy. I started making plans. I spent a lot of time on the phone figuring out what I was supposed to do next. I had a really odd experience the week prior to getting my test results. We were driving Ridley to Chuckie Cheese's in Danvers and I looked over at the building across the street. It was the Outpatient building for MGH Northshore. I had no idea there was a cancer center in the back or the building. I had this weird feeling I was going to be spending a lot of time there. I can't explain it. I then discovered I had been referred to Dr. Erica Linden who was an oncologist at this very hospital. I decided this was a sign that she was supposed to be my doctor. I went with it and I was right. She is amazing. The perfect oncologist for me. Trust your gut. After I met with her I knew this was all going to be ok. In the meantime I had started to really feel like shit. It's strange how I got a diagnosis and it's like my body started falling apart. The shoulder and back pain was horrible and I had the shakes all the time. All I wanted to do was get started on treatment immediately.
So here is the lesson for anyone reading this. If you feel any lumps on your body GO TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR. Don't worry about being a hypochondriac, this is your life. You just never know and better to find out early. I wish I had known sooner but my other masses were behind my sternum and in my lungs. I was stage 4. I say "was" because I know in my heart of hearts that when I go to get my PET scan results on Monday she is going to tell me this lymphoma bullshit is out of me and the rest of the treatment is an insurance policy. So let's all believe that this is going to be the case...and then it will happen. Sound good? Does to me. Last treatment is December 21. Merry Christmas...fuck you cancer.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Day 73

Sorting out the candy. Halloween was fun. Ridley was Spiderman and Violet was a strawberry.

I have to be to Salem Hospital at 6am tomorrow. Let the good times roll. Sodium Bicarbonate every 4 hours until then. After this....halfway through.